Empty chairs at empty tables

There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.

Empty chairs at empty tables.

(Empty chairs at empty tables from Les Miserables)

Am feeling empty inside at the moment. I know I am in denial as the pain is still bearable and I haven't cried bucket loads of tears yet. Maybe it's because I haven't accepted it yet. Maybe it's because I am still clinging on to hope. Hope that he will come to his senses. After all, he did say, he would like to remain good friends and see how in the next few months.

Silly, I know. Having such hope will only disappoint me further, but it's keeping me sane for the moment, while keeping myself busy with work. I am gearing myself for the other shoe to drop, for the reality to sink in one morning when I wake up and finally realise that he's never coming back.

And that I am alone, once again. And then the tears will come......