Bursting

No, not bursting into tears (yet!).

Am talking about the unit where I am currently working in, which is the unit that provides monitoring and treatment for patients who are critically ill or in an unstable condition. The unit is currently working at full capacity with all beds being occupied, and we have had to open up extra beds outside the unit. We are bursting with patients.

Even though we maybe able to find beds, there's not much point if we can't find the medical and nursing staff to support them. The patient:nurse ratio is meant to be 1:1, but can be stretched to 2:1 if needed, but that's not ideal.

Apparently, it's not only our hospital which has been affected. Every other unit in the county is working at maximum capacity as well. Not an ideal situation to be in as it means elective surgeries which are deemed high-risk have to be cancelled as there is no post-operative care beds available to look after them. It's not fair for patients who are waiting for their surgeries but unfortunately, what can we do, with our limited resources? I really hope this crisis sorts itself out soon.

If any non-medical person is interested to know more about the unit, this NHS website provides a good overview of the unit.

Interesting

Just realised that I resuscitated this blog on the 26th of December 2007, but didn't update it regularly. And exactly a year later, I have resumed writing in my blog again, as a way of releasing stress and bottled emotions, due to the unfortunate event that had befallen on me on the 26th of December 2008. How interesting.....or is it a mere coincidence?

Retail therapy

My friends and I went to Westfield Shopping Centre yesterday. It's Europe's largest urban shopping mall located in West London, with 265 shops, 50 restaurants, a gym, a spa and a 14-screen cinema. They even built a new overland train station to accommodate the huge number of visitors expected.

And yes, it is huge, for UK standards. However, coming from Malaysia, we have even larger shopping complexes in Kuala Lumpur. Nevertheless, I was excited at the prospects of retail therapy. I was eager to spend, spend, spend.

And what did I buy?

Nothing, nada, zilch.

It's not as if there wasn't any good sales going on or lousy shops. There were decent sales and a good variety of shops ranging from Zara, Mango, Debenhams, H&M, Apple, Topshop (all the high street brands you can think of) and for the upper-class crowds, there were De Beers, Burberry, Louis Vuitton, Dior and Tiffany and Co and many more.

I guess despite my urge to spend, my brain wouldn't let me do it, unless it was an item I definitely need and it was good value for money.

Oh well, it was still nice to be out of the house, in the company of friends. But the urge to buy something is still there. Will have to find something online, I guess, as I don't have any leave from work to go shopping.

Empty chairs at empty tables

There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.

Empty chairs at empty tables.

(Empty chairs at empty tables from Les Miserables)

Am feeling empty inside at the moment. I know I am in denial as the pain is still bearable and I haven't cried bucket loads of tears yet. Maybe it's because I haven't accepted it yet. Maybe it's because I am still clinging on to hope. Hope that he will come to his senses. After all, he did say, he would like to remain good friends and see how in the next few months.

Silly, I know. Having such hope will only disappoint me further, but it's keeping me sane for the moment, while keeping myself busy with work. I am gearing myself for the other shoe to drop, for the reality to sink in one morning when I wake up and finally realise that he's never coming back.

And that I am alone, once again. And then the tears will come......

And another one bites the dust....

And so after 20 months and 20 days, another relationship bites the dust...

Don't ask me how I am feeling at the moment. Plain numb...

Flora London Marathon 2009

Today was the Flora London Marathon 2008. Every year, thousands and thousands of people take part to run, and thousands more have been rejected.

To apply to take part, one can either apply online through a ballot entry system. You pay the application fee of about 32 pounds, and 6 months prior to the event, they will inform you if you have been accepted or rejected. Thousands of people are rejected every year and if you have been rejected at least 5 times in the past and can prove it, they will give you a place next year.

Another way of applying is to apply through a charity. Charities are given allocated places but the key condition is that you have to raise a certain amount, usually about 2000 pounds, if you run for the charity.

One of my life resolution is to complete the London Marathon before I turn 30. That still gives me a few more years to go. Being very thin-skinned, I usually find it very difficult to ask people to donate, thus the charity route is not for me. So, that leaves me the ballot entry system. I figured if I apply this year, the odds are that I will get a place before I turn 30. =)

So, I have submitted my entry today and will wait for the reply in October. Meanwhile, I ought to start training. Well, not even training but actually, I need to start exercising.

I am not an athletic person and would rather laze around the couch than to work up a sweat. However, what I do enjoy is taking extreme long walks around the countryside. I have done a few walks which include UK Cancer Research 10km walk and Oxfam Walk, which I completed 26 miles last year. If I can walk 26 miles in a day (with a huge blister on the ball of the foot for the last 8 miles), I am sure I can complete the London Marathon, even if I have to walk the whole way (I know, that defeats the purpose but hey, I would still have completed it!)

I have a year to start training and if I am lucky (or unlucky!), I will get to join the thousands of people running in London next year. Anyone interested in joining me?

Ash Cash

Ash cash is the money you get when you sign a cremation form. Basically, when a patient dies in hospital, the most junior doctor in the firm, which is usually the house officer, writes the death certificate for the patient. If the patient is to be cremated, the mortuary will ring up the doctor who wrote the death certificate to sign the cremation form. It’s not compulsory to be the same doctor but it’s easier that way. Signing the cremation form takes only 10 minutes and we’re paid 58 pounds for doing so. Hence, the term Ash Cash.

By doing a random survey of my colleagues, I found out that on average, we would most probably sign about 10-20 cremation forms a year. That is actually quite a lot of money which is earned pre-tax. Legally, one should declare the extra income for tax purposes but some do not or feign ignorance. However, I do know that the mortuary keeps an accurate record of how many cremation forms that each doctor has sign so it’s very easy for the taxman to hunt you down. =P (And fyi, I have declared mine.)

Although signing the cremation form seems very simple, it is actually quite a serious matter. This is because one has to be absolutely sure of the cause of death as once the body is cremated, there is no way of exhuming the body in the future. In the form itself, it asks questions such as whether one has any doubt that the patient died due to neglect, violence, abuse etc. So in a way, if we sign a cremation form, and it turns out in the future that there are some doubts about the patient’s death, we will be questioned about it. Seems like an awful lot of responsibility now, eh? For a mere 58 pounds….